Republic of Athens

Borrowing brother stirs up trouble

Dear Trevor: My younger brother, “Guy,” recently moved in with me. He has a job, but he often skips or goes in late, and has this other guy who looks a lot like him cover for him. I’m afraid it’s only a matter of time until THAT dude gets fired! Anyway, Guy is living with me because he got kicked out of his last apartment building over some liquor-related stunts (he owes the landlord about $12,000 for repairs). I don’t mind his living here, but he keeps borrowing my stuff without asking. He took a wad of cash out of my wallet the first day he was here, and when I asked him, “What gives?”, he just said he needed some money for a new work uniform. He’s ruined three of my best polo tees, a pair of briefs and a necktie playing beer pong, and lately he’s been borrowing my car before I get up, leaving me unable to get to work. My brother and I have never been really close, but the constant borrowing is becoming a bigger and bigger problem — and I don’t know what to say.

- Derek, Marysville

Dear Mike: I have to say that the first thing from your letter that jumped out at me was the bit about your brother’s double being sent to cover for him. I thought I was the only one who had such an experience! Except in my case, my double was unsolicited, and highly unhelpful.

Sophomore year: 1) Trevor loses wallet. 2) Guy with similar haircut finds Trevor’s multiple forms of state-issued identification. 3) Trevor’s new and only mildly convincing impostor makes lots of headlines by committing a rash of unsavory and felonious acts. 4) Yours truly finds an unflattering picture of his face plastered all over post offices, roadside rests and late-night TV programs about wanted criminals. I think I wouldn’t mind trading that whole mix-up for an unauthorized cash loan to my brother, and a few unduly soiled polo shirts and boxer briefs.

But I certainly don’t mean to diminish in any way your dilemma. Just have a good heart-to-heart with your brother about the importance of honesty and trust. And maybe share with him the potential perils of living life with a fake “Guy.”

Dear Trevor: I am in major academic trouble. I have always been a straight-A student, but last week, I scored below 97 percent on one of my exams (but more than a 90). I have NEVER come this close to failing a test, and so cannot accept this. When I told the professor I was unhappy with her unfair and skewed grading system, she just responded, “Too bad”!! Should I sue, or just transfer to another school?

- Jaimee, Tipp City

Dear Jaimee:. Tough one there. I know that in our ever-increasingly litigious society, suing might be your first impulse, but I’d say to just tough it out. For some perspective, take a little step back from the situation. Take a deep breath, decompress, and even treat yourself to a nice “Jaimee” moment. (Shuffle board anyone? How about a high-carb snack?)

Life’s too short, and you’re too blessed to be stressed. Also, think about all of the people out there dying right now of horrific afflictions, or getting jacked up by thugs in some alley as you’re reading this. Kind of makes that whole “94 percent in Introductory History” thing seem pretty OK, doesn’t it? And if all else fails, you could always try one of my ill-advised tactics from sophomore year, and staple a $10 bill to your exam… complete with a smiley face drawing and apology for being unprepared. Yes, it’s all about perspective!

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