Republic of Athens

Buy me a river

Taking a cue from our Kentucky neighbors, Athens developer Brette Haynes, scorned by many locals for projects that wipe out large swaths of the area’s tree-filled hillsides, has announced plans to offer corporate sponsorships for trees that can now be spared for a price.

And, in an unprecedented move, Haynes has offered to auction off the naming rights to Hocking River, also recently purchased by Haynes.

“The idea of sponsoring a tree is a win-win… for the natural environment and the animals that live there, for companies that will benefit directly from mixing conservation with advertising, and for people who think it’s neat to live in a town that has trees,” Haynes said.

As for taking corporate bids to rename the Hocking River, Haynes said it’s no different from renaming major sports arenas.

“It’s not about changing the river in any way, just about changing what we call it,” he said. “So what if it’s officially called The Taco Bell River or The Kroger River, or whatever. It’s still a beautiful place. And obviously I need to at least make back the money I put into acquiring the river.”

Haynes said if none of the bids exceed his purchase price, he’ll consider renaming the Hocking “The Mighty Brette Haynes River.”

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