Republic of Athens

Letter: Citizen goes ape over student behavior

Editor:

I’m writing today because I feel it is imperative for the citizens of the Republic of Athens to do something about all these block parties.

The students are an 800-lb. gorilla. There’s no getting rid of this gorilla; he is indomitable and consumes copious quantities of bananas (beer). The gorilla comes with the territory, and residents accept this.

Happily, part of the gorilla is an industrious, if fun-loving, beast. Part of the gorilla wants to make a contribution to society, to raise kittens and learn sign language.

But the gorilla also has a dark side. For this part of the gorilla, the jungle, which is our town, is nothing more than a place for him to run around hooting, drinking from streams and marking territory.

Responsible, tax-paying citizens are the spider monkeys trying to avoid being used as swinging vines when the gorilla decides it’s time for some fun. We’ve had enough of trash in the streets, of near-riots and attacks on police horses. I feel like I’m in that movie, “King Kong,” directed by Peter Jackson, except without the distracting performance by Jack Black.

Net traps and tranquilizer guns aside, wouldn’t a respectable “republic” do something to control this bumbling animal before he destroys the place we love?

Relocating him to his sanctuary in the suburbs is only ever a temporary solution. So far, the joke’s on us, the real people who actually live here on purpose (and on our own dime)! Who’s going to stick up for US?

You probably won’t even publish this letter, but here it is.

- Patricia Suggs, Better Neighborhoods Association of Athens

photo credit: dce_76

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