It’s that time of year again! Canada’s infamous seal hunt is back in the news, raising the ire of compassionate people around the world.

Veteran animal advocates around the world, as well as and those new to the cause of protecting harp seals, have initiated aggressive protests, boycotts, and public education campaigns to put pressure on government officials, consumers, and hunters alike to end the killings. Although Ohio and other similarly situated portions of North America are not inhabited by the harp seal per se, Republic of Athens set out to solicit the thoughts of area leaders whose work contributes to the well-being of other sentient creatures.

This year, the Canadian government is approving the largest commercial killing of harp seals in more than 50 years, and the largest slaughter of marine mammals in the world. Each spring, mother harp seals gather by the hundreds of thousands to give birth on the newly formed ice along Canada’s east coast. After a couple of weeks, the pups’ pristine white coats give way to a silvery pelt. As the mothers are away tending to their mating ritual, thugs with clubs and guns descend in boats, helicopters, and snowmobiles to kill the young for fun and profit.

The Canadian government has established a quota of 300,000 seals, though some estimates put the total number of young seals killed or unaccounted for at around one million. Abundant video evidence and other forms of documentation have revealed the hunt as the unregulated, bloody free-for-all that it is, oftentimes with no apparent regard even for assuring unconsciousness before skinning. One veterinary report concluded that Canada’s commercial seal hunt results in “considerable and unacceptable suffering.”

Karen Figley is vice-president of Rescue Golden Retrievers Right This Minute (RGRRTM):

RA: How do you feel American citizens can impact the annual seal hunt in Canada?

KF: I’m not sure…. Maybe watch less hockey, and make sure your maple syrup is American. Also, you could refuse to buy that round, flat type of bacon.

RA: As you know, domesticated dogs face enormous problems because of overpopulation, neglect, exploitative puppy mill operations, and so forth. Despite the obvious differences in the kinds of difficulties faced, do you feel a kind of interconnectedness between your work and that of individuals and organizations seeking to end such flagrant abuse of other animals, particularly harp seals?

KF: Not really. Seals don’t have legs, plus they don’t even live in homes with people. I say, if you’re going to live in the wild, you get what you get, right? We don’t say polar bears are wrong for killing seal pups, so why is it so bad for people to beat them, drag them with hooks, and skin them? For that matter, polar bears don’t even help the economy when they kill stuff. So, it’s kind of worse, in a way, when they do it. Maybe we should kill the bears too.

RA: Thanks, Karen.

KF: Yep.

Heather Milner runs an Ohio-based primate sanctuary called Get Off The Monkeys’ Backs.

RA: You specialize in the rescue and rehabilitation of primates. I’m wondering how people with such specific fetishes, or concerns, for just one particular biological species might feel about an animal abuse issue as pressing as the Canadian seal hunt. Do you see the potential for a massive sort of coalition that could unify in solidarity against the plight of harp seals?

HM: I think seals are more of a seal group issue.

RA: Would you care to offer any thoughts on how we might best help to mobilize people against the seal hunt?

HM: Get Off The Monkeys’ Backs has no official position on that. I’d have to check with the board.

RA: Thanks.

HM: Uh-huh.

Timothy Banks is president and co-founder of All About Bunnies.

RA: We’ve been talking to various local animal protection organizations about the Canadian seal hunt, which has of course come under fire from all over the world. Could you offer some insights from your extensive experience regionally that might help to galvinize efforts against the hunt to our north?

TB: Are seals bunnies?

RA: Sorry?

TB: At All About Bunnies, we’re all about bunnies. That’s why we’re called All About Bunnies. If you are born shaped like a bunny, we can help. If you’re not, we can’t.

RA: Thanks.

TB: Sure thing, chief.

Related articles

• Sea Shepherd Crew Plant 500 Fake Baby Seals on the Ice (seashepherd.org)
• Against Reason, Canada Increases Seal Hunt Quota by 55,000 (planetsave.com)

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Image by Getty Images via Daylife

BREAKING NEWS…

REPUBLICOFATHENS.COM HAS RECEIVED WORD THAT, DESPITE RUMORS TO THE CONTRARY, THE WARS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN ARE STILL GOING ON.

We suspect that some combination of the American national fetish for disposable, short-lived, fashionably ”hot” topics, the national news media’s preoccupation with the entire economy’s face-first collapse, as well as the Democrats’ and Republicans’ steadfast focus on cute one-liners and headline-grabbin’ zingers, has given credence to unsubstantiated rumors that the war has actually ended.

However, our independent research has recently revealed the truth of the matter — the United States still spends more than $10 billion per month on one of the least popular, least viable, least-justified military assaults in modern history. According to lots of academic publications and several smart people, the Iraqi government has still never attacked Americans, Saddam Hussein is still not stock-piling ammunition for destroying the U.S., a whole lot of people are still dying needlessly every day as a direct result of American occupation, and Osama bin Laden (who is still not an Iraqi) is still possibly watching all of this on a flat-screen somewhere.

And while we’re on the topic, the “War on Terror,” and its implied purpose of increasing national security, not only risks accomplishing the very opposite (while blowing tons of much-needed cash), but also presents something of a grammatical conundrum. By definition, “terror” is a state of panic, the result of conditions that are, well, terrifying. There are competing schools of thought regarding whether the more obscure, stretched meaning of “terror” ought to pass as part of the word’s officially recognized definition. After all, “terrorISM” is already an aptly unmistakable term used to describe deliberate acts that bring about such… terror.

So, even if waging a war against such a massive, nebulous and utterly unpreventable concept were possible, it should probably still be called a “War on Terrorism,” rather a “War on (terrorism’s resultant) Terror.” In the propaganda war between catchy and clear, catchy wins. Clearly. As it stands, though, the war’s nickname suggests, or at the very least leaves open the interpretation, that U.S. troops are off fighting merely against the fears that result from terrorism, rather than against the purveyors of terrorism itself.

We don’t mean to be flip about this, but a war that’s already unjust, un-winnable, immoral, dreadfully wasteful, and unapproved by the United Nations Security Council, should at the very least have a title that’s both cool and semantically sound.

Sure, the war is a debacle that’s helping to create even more enemies around the world while further destabilizing the Iraqi self-reliance it allegedly aims to promote. And sure, some of the world’s most respected scientific journals, epidemiologists, and statisticians attribute more than a million deaths to the effects of the 2003 invasion and subsequent occupation. But is nothing sacred?

Catastrophically misguided foreign policies matter. But so does the war of semantics. For now, we’ll just count this as one more reason to oppose the war, “ism” or no “ism.” Again, while we recognize that the complete downfall of the federal economy is in fact a big deal, as is the ongoing, intriguing battle for the AFC North title, we view it as our duty to seek out and report the facts. Let there be no more confusion: the war has not ended.

Please stay tuned for future coverage. Republicofathens.com will be among the first to announce when war is over.

For republicofathens.com, I’m Troy Gregorino.

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