Commissioners say they will buy new mountains with strip mining revenue; call Appalachian scenery ‘overrated’
Local bigwigs are facing off over which is better: utter joblessness or ecological disaster.
Environmental group FUME (F.U. Mining Entities) overtook a recent county commissioners’ meeting to state its opposition to a recently filed permit for a strip mine in Athens County. Group members argued the mine would destroy acres of rural property, contaminate streams and watersheds and provide few long-lasting employment opportunities in return.
Commissioners, however, remained undecided on whether t
o oppose or support the proposed mine, noting Ohio’s governor favors job creation over maintaining any type of natural living space, or breathable air.
“Once the coal miners’ lavish paychecks return to the county in tax form, we can just buy everyone some new scenery,” said Commissioner Bart Molliven. “I think the whole ‘green countryside’ thing is somewhat overrated, to be honest.”
Former commissioner-turned-mining-mogul Phil Bison agreed, vowing to offer jobs to locals interested in building new mountains out of dirt and rubble.
photo credit: squeaks2569
